We all want to raise happy, healthy, emotionally grounded children, but how we parent has everything to do with whether that’s possible. Research shows that parenting style not only affects day-to-day behavior but also shapes long-term outcomes like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, emotional intelligence, and school success.

Let’s explore the four primary parenting styles, what they look like, and the lifelong consequences they may carry.

Authoritative Parenting

High warmth, high expectations

Authoritative parents are nurturing and responsive, but they also set firm limits and hold consistent expectations. They explain the reasons behind rules, offer choices, and encourage independence.

You may hear:
“I know you’re upset we have to leave the park, but it’s time for lunch. Let’s take two deep breaths and head to the car.”

Long-Term Outcomes:

• Lower risk of depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders

• Strong emotional regulation and academic success

• Lower risk of teen substance abuse

• Higher life satisfaction and secure relationships

(Baumrind, 1991; Steinberg, 2001; Zalot et al., 2007)

Authoritarian Parenting

Low warmth, high expectations

Authoritarian parents enforce strict rules and expect unquestioning obedience. They typically discipline through punishment and rarely offer explanations or emotional support.

You may hear:
“Because I said so. End of discussion.”

Long-Term Outcomes:

• Increased anxiety, fear-based compliance, and low self-esteem

• Higher risk of rebellion and substance use in adolescence

• Poor emotional regulation and limited problem-solving skills

(Pinquart, 2017; Lamborn et al., 1991; Zalot et al., 2007)

Permissive Parenting

High warmth, low expectations

Permissive parents are loving and accepting, but they rarely enforce rules or boundaries. Children have lots of freedom, but little structure or accountability.

You may hear:
“I don’t want to upset her, let her do what she wants.”

Long-Term Outcomes:

• Difficulty with impulse control and delayed gratification

• Higher risk of substance use, especially alcohol and marijuana

• Struggles with authority and academic responsibility

(Adalbjarnardottir & Hafsteinsson, 2001; Baumrind, 1991)

Uninvolved (Neglectful) Parenting

Low warmth, low expectations

Uninvolved parents are emotionally distant and inconsistent in their parenting. This may be due to stress, trauma, burnout, or simply lack of awareness, but the impact on children is significant.

You may see:
There may be very little engagement or responsiveness to the child’s needs.

Long-Term Outcomes:

• Highest risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse

• Poor academic outcomes and behavioral issues

• Increased likelihood of delinquency, risky sexual behavior, and running away

(Steinberg, 2001; Milevsky et al., 2007)

Risk Comparison Table

Based on Longitudinal Studies

The authoritative style, firm yet kind, structured yet loving, has been proven to protect against nearly every negative outcome we worry about as parents. And the best part? It’s not a personality type. It’s a skillset that can be learned and practiced over time.

You’re not just raising a child. You’re shaping a life.

Citations

Adalbjarnardottir, S., & Hafsteinsson, L. G. (2001). Adolescents’ perceived parenting styles and their substance use: Concurrent and longitudinal analyses. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(4), 401–423. https://doi.org/10.1111/1532-7795.00019

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95. https://doi.org/10.1177/0272431691111004

Lamborn, S. D., Mounts, N. S., Steinberg, L., & Dornbusch, S. M. (1991). Patterns of competence and adjustment among adolescents from authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and neglectful families. Child Development, 62(5), 1049–1065. https://doi.org/10.2307/1131151

Milevsky, A., Schlechter, M., Netter, S., & Keehn, D. (2007). Maternal and paternal parenting styles in adolescents: Associations with self-esteem, depression and life-satisfaction. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 16(1), 39–47. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-006-9066-5

Pinquart, M. (2017). Associations of parenting dimensions and styles with internalizing symptoms in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis. Marriage & Family Review, 53(7), 613–640. https://doi.org/10.1080/01494929.2016.1247761

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent–adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1111/1532-7795.00001

Zalot, A. A., Jones, D. J., Forehand, R., & Brody, G. (2007). The role of parenting in adolescent substance use: Examining gender differences in vulnerability. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 16(4), 509–521. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-006-9104-2