If you feel like your child is melting down more often than not… if you find yourself saying “no” more than “yes”… or if you’ve started to wonder why they’re not talking like other children their age, you’re not alone.

And you’re not a bad parent for asking, “Is this normal?”

It’s one of the most common questions I hear from parents. Maybe your toddler seems nonverbal, doesn’t respond when you call their name, screams for no clear reason, or is rough with other children. Maybe you’ve been told they’ll “grow out of it,” but something still feels off. Maybe you just feel like you’re at your wit’s end and are searching for a different solution.

Sometimes we assume the behavior is intentional. But often, these kinds of outbursts are a child’s way of communicating what they don’t yet have the words or tools to say.

What Might Be Going On?

If your child is struggling to express their needs, understand direction, or calm themselves down, there could be more at play than just a “rough stage.” Below are some common possibilities, all of which are worth exploring gently and early:

1. Speech or Language Delay
According to the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA), most 2-year-olds should have about 50 words and be putting two words together (ASHA, 2021). If your child isn’t doing this yet, it could be a sign of a delay, especially if you’re raising them in a bilingual home. That added language input can take a little longer to process, but it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t helpful.

2. Sensory Processing Differences
Children who are sensitive to sounds, textures, or sudden changes may scream, hit, or retreat as a way to self-regulate. These behaviors are often misunderstood as defiance when they may actually be signs of overwhelm (Miller et al., 2007).

3. Emotional Regulation Challenges
Toddlers are still learning how to manage frustration. When they lack the words, they act it out. Delayed speech and difficulty with transitions can make that even harder.

What You Can Do to Support Your Child

If you’re noticing some of these patterns, there’s no need to panic. There are tools and therapies designed specifically for these situations. Early help makes a big difference.

Speech Therapy
A speech-language pathologist (SLP) can help evaluate what your child understands and what they’re able to express. They can also give you tools to encourage speech at home in developmentally appropriate ways.

Occupational Therapy
If your child seems clumsy, aggressive, or highly reactive to sensory input, OT can help with motor skills, body awareness, and emotional regulation.

Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)
This is a proven approach that strengthens the bond between parent and child while addressing disruptive behaviors. It’s especially helpful when kids are struggling to listen, follow directions, or connect emotionally (Eyberg et al., 2008).

What You Can Try at Home

While you’re exploring support, here are a few things you can start doing right away:

• Stick to routines that help your child feel secure
• Narrate feelings out loud, even if they can’t repeat them back: “You’re mad because I said no. That’s hard.”
• Keep your responses calm and consistent
• Use visuals (like photos or hand signs) to help with communication
• Focus on celebrating small steps forward—any eye contact, word attempts, or calm moment is worth noticing

Your child isn’t bad. They’re not broken. They may just be behind in a way that’s hard to see at first. And often, behavior is the first way their body says, “I need help.”

The earlier we tune in and support those needs, the easier it becomes, not just for them, but for us, too.

References

• American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. (2021). How Does Your Child Hear and Talk?https://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/chart/
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Learn the Signs. Act Early.https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html
• Miller, L. J., Anzalone, M. E., Lane, S. J., Cermak, S. A., & Osten, E. T. (2007). Concept evolution in sensory integration: A proposed nosology for diagnosis. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 61(2), 135–140.
• Eyberg, S. M., Nelson, M. M., & Boggs, S. R. (2008). Evidence-Based Psychosocial Treatments for Children and Adolescents With Disruptive Behavior. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 37(1), 215–237.